Thoughts during my ninth month of pregnancy…

What Does it Mean to Give Birth Without My Mother? 
It means to understand that no matter who is beside me during that special moment, it can never be her.
It means that there is no one I am excited to first break the news to;
everyone will just find out at the same time.
It means that there isn’t that anxious person truly waiting to hear- it’s a girl!
And my husband is left to take care of the last minute shopping.
It means that after the hospital, the only place I’m able to go is my own home.
It means to be yearning for the support and a hug.
That I need more than ever during this momentous time in my life.
It means that I have no one to call to consult with, or even just to cry.
It means I must depend  on all of those around me.
And have the pain of remembering, that my mother once dreamed of being the doula for her girls.

I hope that at least from above she is worrying and taking care of me…

Written by Ruth Imas Tzabari, Orphan of both parents, daughter of Talya and Yitzchak Imas.